Why Your Higher Self Wants You To Have Healthy Love

I mean, why wouldn't your higher self want you to have happiness and harmony when it comes to relationships? Even if you love to have a little conflict going on, your higher self still wants you to be happy and healthy... right?

It's really her soul state.

Creating that happy and healthy love can take a bit of work, don't get me wrong. It can take tapping into what deep self love means for you. It can be a process of figuring out how to create beautiful boundaries in order to know where the give and take in love exists for you.

The foundation of all of the work I do with my clients and group program participants is deep self love. Deep self knowledge. Deep awareness. Deep understanding of what's getting in your way.

Who the heck is your higher self?

Your higher self is your true self. It's your soul state. It's that you that is you without anything getting in your way- like self doubt, self criticism and self sabotage. And that version of you.... I know she/he wants amazing, soul aligned love. Your higher self is that version of you that guides you and supports you, when you are able to tap into her powers. You always have the opportunity to come back to your higher self at any given any moment.

It can be a little tricky to catch up that version of ourselves, though. Our inner critics like us to stay safe and not rock the status quo. It's easy to put things in our path to keep us stuck.

Ask yourself this question: What does the version of me that lives an unapologetic life, the version of me that knows what is in her best service... what does she want?

For me, it took some uncovering. I had to get through quite a bit of "fertile void" as Kate Northrup says. It was dark. It wasn't pretty. It was full of depression and anxiety and worry.

That dark place, the one full of sludge, was somewhere I lived recently. And I had to go through that place, through the fertile void to get to here now.

And you know who was waiting for me on the other side of uncovering my deep shadow side? My higher self. Of course she was! How did I not know that that's who I would find at the end of that tunnel?

Before I got to her though, I asked for a lot of help along the way. I asked the Universe to help me.... and she did. She put practitioners and circumstances and opportunities in my world so that I would find my way... It was what I needed to meet that next level version of myself. She heard my prayers without me saying them out loud.

For me, getting really in touch with my higher self took help from other people. People skilled to ask me the right questions. People who had my highest good at heart. People who wanted me to get there as much as I did.

Your higher self... she wants big things. And I would bet, that somewhere in the top of the list of those big things she wants is happy & healthy loving relationships.

Art therapist Katherine Phifer is a relationship coach and love guide who helps people find, create and maintain happy love. Katherine is also the founder and creator of the platform and podcast The Happy Love Project. You can find out more about Katherine and her offerings by visiting or by following her on Facebook or Instagram @katherinephifer.