Podcast: Scarcity & Abundance in Love

Scarcity & Abundance in Love

It took me a long time to understand my scarcity mindset. It took me forever to even recognize that I was operating in a scarcity mindset. Here's some things I used to say when it came to men:

"There are not enough fish in the sea."

"The one for me will never find me."

"I attract drama."

"Everyone else is in love. Why not me?"

And then when I was in a committed relationship the script could easily be:

"He doesn't have time for me. We don't have enough time."

"Now that we are together, he doesn't show me the love I want."

"There's no energy for us. It's all about the kids and work and everything else before us."

Can you relate? We can operate in a scarcity mindset quite easily around all kinds of things including love, money, health and so much more. And once we get stuck in the continuous loop of scarcity, it can take some work to get out of it.

A scarcity mindset is all about not enough. There isn't enough to go around and we have to hold on tightly to what we have. We are going to run out. We have to compete to get it because there's only one and 5 other people want it. Things are scarce. See what I am saying?

It can really keep us small, clench-y and competitive. It can also keep us from finding and cultivating happy love.

This can apply to people looking for that next love and for those currently in a relationship.

So, if you are out there and wondering where your love is in the grand scheme of the world, and you are operating out of a scarcity mindset, you might not even see the person if he or she was right in front of you. You might be so focused on finding the "perfect mate" that the cute guy or gal in the coffee shop you run into daily on your way to work doesn't even pop up on your radar.

Or, if you are in a relationship, you could get stuck in the day to day routine and not even see how things could be different. It may feel like there's not enough time, or enough energy or even enough love for things to be different.

But, if we flip the switch and move towards an abundant mindset, things can shift.

If we can shift it, our perspective starts to become one where there is plenty and that we live during a time where there is enough to go around, we start to see things differently. We don't have to be clench-y and we certainly don't have to compete. We start to feel the abundance in the world.

The cute guy or gal at the coffee shop starts chatting us up, because we are already shifting our energy to be more open. Our partner makes dinner reservations for just the two of us. Things open up for us in a new way.

An abundant mindset can take a little bit of work. Sometimes we have to train our minds to see things a bit differently.

Here are 5 easy ways that you can shift to an abundant mindset quickly:

1. Start using an abundance affirmation. An affirmation is something you can repeat over and over. You can write it out, you can post it to your mirror, you can say it as you walk into your work every morning. While it may feel a bit weird at first, mantras can be a great way to remind yourself that abundance exists.

Here are a few of my favorites:

* What's meant for me will not pass me by.

* Love is all around me.

* I am ready to be abundant in love.

2. Have an open energy. Have you ever noticed that when you are open and willing to receive from the world, that more amazing things come to you? When you are closed, you are not able to see or receive much outside of your vision.

3. Practice gratitude. Be grateful for EVERYTHING! And write it down. I know it's an added step in your life, but if you can write down 5 things you are grateful for every day with reasons, abundance comes in abundance.

4. Make sure your words are erring towards the positive and the open. This can be challenging when you are stressed or in a tough spot, but if you can, rework your words about yourself to be positive and open. Instead of saying "can't" or "should" or "no" think about how you can rework it. "I can attract the love of my life." Or you can say, "I am working on making time for my partner." Or even "Yes I am saying yes to me instead of feeling like I am saying no to you."

What you say to yourself and to the world is incredibly powerful. If you are telling yourself that nothing ever changes, that you are meant for fabulous love, it likely won't come to you. First, because energetically you are in a much lower vibe and the universe can only match your energetic frequency. But also because what you say to yourself you believe. If you believe that you can't have something, you are likely not going to put yourself in situations where you can have it.

5. Recognize when your thoughts are based in fear. We are always facing fear. All of the time. Fear keeps us safe and it keeps us sound. But fear also keeps us small and closed in. So, ask yourself constantly about everything, am I making this decision based in fear or in love? You'll know what fear sounds like once you get to know the tone and the words. Fear often sounds like "no." "I can't do that." "They won't be open to that." "Nothing will ever change."


1. What does scarcity look like to you in love?

2. What does abundance look like to you in love?

2.a What would abundant love life feel like?

3. Which abundance practice above most resonates with you?

Once you start to examine your mindset you start to see how scarcity and abundance can impact you in different ways. It's sometimes fun to just be an observer of how we think and act.